"Some Things To Consider Later" Official Transcript
Episode 1
Aired June 26, 2006

ANNOUNCER: This is BOR, Public Radio.

("SOME THINGS TO CONSIDER LATER" THEME MUSIC)

ROBERT SCHEINSTEIN, HOST: This is "Some Things to Consider Later." I'm Robert
Scheinstein.

MELISSA WORTHINGTON, CO-HOST: And I'm Melissa Worthington. There have been 
some changes to our staff in recent weeks, so we thought we should take some
time to re-introduce our correspondents.

WORTHINGTON: Our news director and senior analyst is Milton Heep. Our urban 
affairs correspondent is Guy Blaque. Our sports correspondent is Jamblia
Boolyboo. Our business reporter is Jeweep Kikigger. Our entertainment
reporter, Minjo Popopopopopo. Our health expert is Neeero-POP. And our 
foreign affairs reporter is Shnkrwzya Gxglegjkdfn. And finally, our national
affairs correspondent is David Smith who, in keeping with BOR staff policy,
will from now on be referred to as Pootypoo Gimgimno.

SCHEINSTEIN: Last night, notorious supervillain Doctor Scorpion seized 
control of the European Union and declared his intention to improve the 
economy, lower crime, and build a lethal death ray within five years. Foreign
affairs correspondent Shnkrwzya Gxglegjkdfn has this report.

SHNKRWZYA GXGLEGJKDFN: Just after midnight, Doctor Scorpion exploded a 
nuclear bomb over the European Union Parliament in Strasbourg, killing
all the European heads of state. At the same time, his secret armies 
swept across the continent in tanks and fighter jets. Within the hour, 
the United Nations accepted his terms for surrendering Europe to his
control.

GXGLEGJKDFN: During his inaugural speech, crowds cheered with machine 
guns at their backs as Doctor Scorpion laid out his plans for the future.

(BEGIN AUDIO)

DOCTOR SCORPION: My dominated citizens, as your new leader, I pledge to 
rule Europe with a steady and fair hand. I will lower taxes, create new
jobs, balance the budget, and use my newfound resources to build a 
death ray and conquer the world in five years.

(END AUDIO)

GXGLEGJKDFN: Doctor Scorpion, an evil scientist, has been attempting
to conquer the nations of the world for the last eighteen years. Secret
agent Hank Rockwell always foiled his plans, but it is believed that 
Rockwell was killed during his attempt to stop the launch of the nuclear 
missile that wiped out the Europe Union headquarters. 

GXGLEGJKDFN: Despite Scorpion's success at conquering a major world 
power, some political pundits questioned his ability to carry out his
promises. CNN's senior political analyst Jeff Redfield spoke during an
episode of "Meet the Press."

(BEGIN AUDIO)

JEFF REDFIELD: Look, Doctor Scorpion may have created an army of 
ruthless soldiers to do his evil bidding, but that doesn't mean he 
can run a nation. Europe's economy was in disarray before Scorpion 
seized control, and the destruction during the attack certainly won't
help. As for the death ray, scientists have been trying to build 
one for decades without success. I highly doubt he can do it in
five years.

(END AUDIO)

GXGLEGJKDFN: Scorpion responded to critics during a press conference.

(BEGIN AUDIO)

SCORPION: As we speak, my evil scientists are hard at work 
constructing a laser cannon capable of projecting its rays across 
the globe. The death ray will be completed within the five-year time
frame. Redfield will rue the day he questioned me!

(END AUDIO)

GXGLEGJKDFN: Doctor Scorpion spent most of the day consulting
with his officials to establish a new constitution, assemble his
staff, and cackle maniacally. Shnkrwzya Gxglegjkdfn, BOR News, Germany.

(MUSIC)

ANNOUNCER: "Some Things To Consider Later" is brought to you by
Harken. At Harken, we're working for you. On the Web at 
wereworkingforyou.com. 

ANNOUNCER: Also brought to you by the Crown Corporation. Changing 
Ideas, Changing Minds. On the web at Changingideaschangingminds.com. 

ANNOUNCER: Also brought to you by Syncotech, creators of fine 
fabrics for all people. On the web at creatorsoffinefabricsforallpeople.com. 

ANNOUNCER: Also brought to you by the Forger Foundation, an international 
non-partisan think tank for the expansion of the world community 
through technology, innovation, and understanding. On the web at
aninternationalnon-partisanthinktankfortheexpansionoftheworldcommunity
throughtechnologyinnovationandunderstanding.com. 

ANNOUNCER: And by Joe's Barbecue. At Joe's Barbecue, we don't have a
website, but if we did, it would be at Joesbarbecue.com. This is BOR 
Public Radio.

END PROGRAM

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